A woman’s body is incredibly powerful and beautiful. We have the ability to create another life. We have arms that provide comfort, breasts that provide nourishment, legs that allow us to continue moving forward in life and shoulders to carry tremendous burdens of family members. Yet all too often we find fault and even shame in the beauty of our own form. We nip, tuck, augment and hide who we really are because we’ve bought into the media and society’s narrow definition of beauty.
It’s even worse once we become moms. When we assume that role we quickly lose our identity as “woman.” As our bodies recover from childbirth and we’re consumed by the demands of our infant, our feelings of being a sexual being wane. Rare is the woman who can feel sexy when she’s had no sleep, barely time to shower, leaky boobs and spit-up on every article of clothing.
And when we see Kim Kardashian or some other celeb new mom looking sexy and put together, it simply makes us mere mortals feel even worse about ourselves.
Let’s face it, in the real world of school pick-up lines and PTA meetings the occasional mom who imbues any sort of sexuality is usually looked at with not a little jealousy and judgement. I’m not talking about the ones who’ve had tons of plastic surgery and never leave the house without makeup. I’m talking about those rare ones who just naturally exude a certain energy and feeling of unrestrained inhibition. The ones who just seem comfortable in their own skin. Man, those women can really bug the crap out of us!
But, if we’re to be honest with ourselves, behind those feelings isn’t there a sense of envy? What woman wouldn’t want to feel that comfortable with her own body and good about herself? Here’s the reality –
Confidence and authenticity are sexy!
Recently my friend Andrea, the photographer who does my headshots and is a mom herself, decided to start offering beauty photo sessions for moms. Like me, she wanted women to celebrate who they are and, through her lens, allow them to see themselves as the beauties they truly are. Knowing that through my coaching practice I run into hundreds of women who are looking to get past their insecurities, self-doubt and fear to be happy, she came to me asking if I might have some women who would be interested. She needed some models for photos to be used on her site. It’s interesting because I received some immediate and enthusiastic “Yes’s!” But then, as they thought about it, the doubts started creeping in –
“I have too much cellulite.”
“She’d need to photo-shop my entire mid-section.”
“I hate my smile.”
“My arms are too big.”
In addition to their own fears, a few who were married faced objections from their husbands. They didn’t want their wives to be seen like that by the world. One woman was concerned what her kids might think. All of this pointed to the issue we face as wives and moms – we are told we need to renounce our authentic role as “woman.” Suddenly there is shame, both from ourselves and others, in celebrating our body as it is. The message we our telling ourselves and, more concerning our daughters, is that we shouldn’t be proud of our body as it is and simply enjoy being a woman. That once we’re a mom we can’t “put it out there.”
Happily we found two moms who were willing to be the pioneers for this photo shoot. Both of these moms have kids and work. They are mere mortals like you and me. They had their hair and makeup done for the shoot and commented that they would never be seen “outside” with this much make-up. They were definitely nervous when the shoot began and it certainly took a while to loosen them up. But then magic happened. Andrea showed one of the women what she had captured through the lens. The woman started to cry. Not because she was embarrassed or thought she looked too fat. Because, as she said, she had no idea she could actually feel beautiful. The previous objections turned into awakenings such as:
“This is an all-time high in making me feel like a woman.”
“I can’t believe that’s me! I feel beautiful and I never feel like that!”
“This experience is life-changing and a total recharging of my mind and soul.”
As a life coach that gave me chills! That’s my goal for all of my clients – to get to a place where they experience uninhibited joy and confidence. Within minutes of Andrea posting the photos hundreds of women were liking the post and visiting her site. There were comments such as “I’ve always thought about doing something like this but wasn’t sure.” “I haven’t felt sexy in 12 years and no one knows I have issues with my body image.” It was a tsunami of women simply wanting to feel good about themselves again.
If you’re ready to get past your inner fears and self-doubts and start living a joyful and fulfilling life, I can help you get there. Sign up for a complimentary 30 minutes Discovery Session to see how we can work together.